Throwing around the ol' leather pumpkin

Until last night, I think the last time I played basketball was in seventh grade gym class. On that occasion, I wound up getting the ball smashed down into my face and my nose started bleeding profusely. I was sent to the school nurse because my gym teacher feared that my nose was broken. Luckily, my nose was not broken, but I had to stay in the nurse's office for so long that the school day ended and I missed my bus. Normally that wouldn't have been a huge problem, but my best friend was supposed to come over after school and since she was unaware that I had been battered by a basketball, she just went home when she couldn't find me. I haven't played basketball since then in protest of having my childhood playtime stolen from me.

Sixteen years after that experience, Joe's basketball team required the services of one female so that they wouldn't have to forfeit all four games. I was extremely displeased that they were unable to find another girl, but I grudgingly agreed to play. I am pleased to report that we won one out of four games, which means that my attendance wasn't a total waste. Here are my statistics for the evening:

Games played: 4 (11 minutes apiece)
Points scored: 2 (I was very pleased with this)
Nails broken: 1
Times I almost threw up on another player: 1
Times molested by a girl on the other team: 1-2
Knees skinned: 2

My knees haven't looked like this since I would fall off my bike when I was learning to ride.


I am happy to report that once I got over my nerves and the feeling that I was going to be ill, I had a decent time. I even told Joe that I would be willing to play again, should the team ever require a female.