Tales from the Subway, Installment #1

Given that there are over eight million people living in New York, I'm bound to run into some interesting folks on my daily subway commute. I recently purchased a new phone, which has a camera that can take very inconspicuous pictures. Starting with today's entry, I will begin to document the things that my fellow commuters do that annoy, amuse, or invoke any other emotion in me. After I took the picture for this first installment, I realized I have no way to get it off my camera and onto my blog. Don't worry, I immediately ordered a data cable, and I will show you the first offender posthaste.

The first thing about today's unsuspecting commuter that caught my attention was that he was doing what I like to call the Three Seat Spread. Some men are more considerate and will opt for the Two Seat Spread. Either way, it's a common move among men on the subway. They sit down in one seat, and immediately spread their legs as wide as they can so that they're now occupying two to three seats. I'm not sure if they're trying to air out the groin or what, but trains would be a lot less crowded if you guys would just close your legs, or if MTA could just post some of these signs:

image from Gothamist, logo designed by Catherine Weaver.

So, this dude was doing an impressive Three Seat Spread, and was talking on his cell phone. He was talking at a volume which made it impossible not to eavesdrop, and I think he was secretly hoping that everyone around him would overhear the conversation. He was telling his poor friend (if there was actually anyone on the other end of the line) that he was just returning from an audition for the show 30 Rock. He was auditioning for the part of a writer called Asif, who the other cast members refer to as "As if"......right, I'm sure it'll be funny when the episode airs. Three Seat felt pretty good about the casting, because he got to read about three scenes, and was there for awhile. He's also auditioned for 30 Rock before, and the casting director brought him back for this audition, so he thinks they like him. However, when he was waiting to be called in, there was another guy in the room who looked exactly like him, and who was talking twice as loud as he could (Doubtful, Three Seat, I won't believe it until I hear it). Three Seat was a little concerned while he was waiting that there was no way he would get the part over this guy, but feels good after the audition.